everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
