I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
