So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
