Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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