Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
