never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
