Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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