no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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