Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
