even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
You're a waste of cheezeits
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
