i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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