I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
