we have officially lost it.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
