I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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