Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
