Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
