He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize
