Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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