Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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