It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
