you would pick up someone in the library
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
