i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
