p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
