why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
