I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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