Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
