You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
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