just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
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