im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
