i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
fuck your aforementioned shoe
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
