I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
