i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Randomize
