i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
