It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
