dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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