addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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