low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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