I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize