so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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