If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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