Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
