i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
