D3 body, D1 cock
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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