Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
