Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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