my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Randomize
