he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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