Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
