theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
did i just pee glitter
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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