im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Randomize
