man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
