You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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